i barfeds in our rink
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
