i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
