To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
