hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
