Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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