Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's official drugs can't kill me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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