tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
