It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
