I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
