What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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