New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
