I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think I died a long time ago.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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