What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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