Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
