I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
