You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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