There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
