Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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