so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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