Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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