So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
