I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
