She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
