we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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