Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
