you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Drunk is a universal language darling
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
