only if we run a train.
done.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
