Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
