yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
