Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
