its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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