So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
4 words: hood of his car
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
