mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
