I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
