just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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