girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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