FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
