Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
