took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
