She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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