forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
