so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
