I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
