# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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