Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
