i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
