i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
