capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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