Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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