I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
